27. Greatest Again

  1. 01. Minutes of the COCKUP
  2. 02. A Public Service
  3. 03. The 22% Solution
  4. 04. On The Campaign Trail
  5. 05. Athens of America
  6. 06. A Yankee’s Yankee
  7. 07. My Canadian Family
  8. 08. Edmonton? Why?
  9. 09. Prairie Singers
  10. 10. Deconstructing Calgary
  11. 11. My Kelowna
  12. 12. Wine Whine
  13. 13. Fire Mountain
  14. 14. A Stopover and a Popover
  15. 15. Inspiring Victoria
  16. 16. Planet Rosehip
  17. 17. Carry On Grunge
  18. 18. Street People
  19. 19. The Curse of Portland
  20. 20. Mean-Spirited, Powerful Justice
  21. 21. Amtrak’s Jewel
  22. 22. Managing Yosemite
  23. 23. Yumpin’ Yosemite
  24. 24. Parched
  25. 25. Brave New San Fran
  26. 26. Over The Hill
  27. 27. Greatest Again

Well, that’s that.

My thirty-eight day campaign swing across the United States and Canada is done. Over breakfast I considered the previous evening’s Festival of Vision, the first debate between the numerous and vociferous Republican presidential candidates. My original reason for joining the Republican race was to enable me to say, without evidence or reason, all manner of things about anything — including the USA itself — with impunity. It was gratifying to hear last night’s landslide of support for this approach from my rivals.

Now what?

I won’t keep you in suspense. In consequence of the incomparable performances of my rivals, I have suspended my candidacy for the Republican nomination for the presidency of the United States.

[It is traditional for you to groan in disappointment here. Alternatively, a cry of “No!” reflecting shock and disbelief is appreciated.]

I have nothing to offer the American people that can compete with the ingeniously simple solutions to non-existent problems offered by the statespersons of the day. Nevertheless, you may have noticed through my previous twenty-six tantrums that I have a lot to say about the United States. That is probably because I understand it so well — and so little. Continue reading 27. Greatest Again